One of my friends in Facebook posted this story about love and marriage and I just want to share it here. It is pretty long but the time you will spend reading it is worth it:
When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce.
I raised the topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again. In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce.
She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage. This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning.
I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request. I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions.. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.. My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset.
I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office. On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time.. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her. On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again.
I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly.
I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.
I drove to office, jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind. I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore. She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more.
Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.
That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead. The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank.These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. Sofind time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you. If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.
I am doing an article now for one of the websites that we maintained and it is about US tourist visa. I am feeling a little twinge as I am writing because ironically, I am one of US tourist visa applicants who got denied. My experience in the US embassy more than a year ago came back today and well I want to just laugh about it- but somehow there’s still a bit of bitterness in me (haha).
I was interviewed weeks before my wedding and I think the real reason why I got denied is because I wrote in the form that I intend to stay in the US for six long months. Actually, the original form I did says that I will only stay for a month. But would you believe that a day before the interview, my sister who made me apply for the visa called and said that I should change it to six months. She is probably so excited and confident about my impending trip that she got carried away.
Unfortunately I was denied big time. One question and one look at my form and the consul said – I am sorry I cannot grant you a visa. The consul did not even bother to take a look at any of the documents I have with me. It felt like a slap in the face really. The fact that I have a two year old nephew in the US made the consul suspicious that I will go there to baby-sit, which is a form of work there. I am also so lucky to be interviewed in a window where the strictest and harshest consuls are- I think it was window 8.
I cried bucket of tears over that. I can’t believe how discriminating the US consuls are. I even think they are a bunch of idiots (forgive my word) because they got it all wrong. I mean I am someone who in all honesty has no plans of staying in the US for long and I was denied, while a college friend who applied for a tourist visa with the intention to be a TNT was given a visa!
Well in the end, it is probably fate. Maybe I am not meant to go to US that time. I would like to believe that everything that happens to me is really to my advantage (whether I am aware of it or not). I am not sure if I will be given a chance to be granted a US visa or if I would apply again. I would just let the course of time decide.
Compared to some people, I guess I can say that I am not really so into Facebook or Friendster or Twitter. I have accounts on almost all social networking sites but just maintain one or two. By maintain, I mean just checking out what’s happening in my network when I have free time and not every chance I got.
I won’t deny the fact that there were days when I also become a little crazy over it. You know, there was a time when I got so excited over a new testimonial and I would use friendster to check out the profile of my crush (lol). And I also used to have a relatively nice farm in FarmTown and a pet named Tinkerbell in Pet Society. I had to give all that up after giving birth though.
I have no regrets that I never had time for Diner Dash or Cafer World and
who knows what have happened to Tinkerbell ( I’m such a lousy pet owner). I just have other more important things to do than stay online. But nowadays, I find myself again being amused by another facebook application- these online psychics that seem to really connect with me somehow.
I just clicked the link from one of the wall posts of my friend and was surprised to see these online psychics with a personal approach – addressing me by name and with a term of endearment.
When I read, -Mela, dear I was waiting for you, they just sound so sweet and I like them (haha). Besides most of the time, when I consult them, the predictions are strangely correct.
I can’t help but be amazed by web developers- their creative juices are really overflowing. So for those with a Facebook account, why not consult your future with Anita and Amora- just for fun though. Let me share my predictions for today:
My prediction from Anita
Mela darling, a relative will offer you the opportunity to join in a business partnership. You are advised to take it, for this may prove to be a very profitable business."
My prediction from Amora
Mela dear, your admirer is enchanted - see how his eyes light up when you smile."
This year is definitely a challenging year for my family. For the first quarter, my husband and I found our hands full with so many tasks and responsibilities that we had no time for anything else. As of this moment, we badly need some rest and relaxation so it is no surprise that lately, we find ourselves thinking of spending a day or two on vacation. What I have in mind is going to one of the country's popular destinations with all-in vacation package. My husband who is yet to experience traveling on a plane or going out of the country welcomes the idea of course.
But (sigh), this idea for a vacation is a just a dream for now as we currently do not have the resources (both time and money) to afford such luxury. That is actually our goal for next year- to save up for a grand vacation. There are many vacation packages one can choose from but I guess it is wise to take advantage of early booking promotions offered by hotels and resorts.
In connection with that, it would be nice to visit Breezes Resorts at Runaway Bay Jamaica or Negril Jamaica as they are offering an “Early Booking Bonus. Early bookers can save up to $770 per couple on seven-night/eight-day getaways until August 31, 2010. Isn’t that great? So if you are looking for a vacation destination but don’t want to spend too much then I invite you to visit Breezes Resorts and get an early reservation so you can enjoy your vacation without burning a hole in your pocket.
üI enjoyed a hot cup of coffee and carrot raisin bread for breakfast.
üMy husband keeps on saying he loves me even if I keep on complaining on everything he does (I’m bad!).
üAt 7 months old, my daughter is happy, healthy and lively.
üFor the first quarter of the year, my team at work were able to meet some of our yearly targets!
üMy tummy is not as big as before (haha!).
üI’ve had a good night’s sleep (that‘s the reward for being so tired at the end of the day).
Well I just need to list that down on this Friday morning because well you see it is so easy to keep on worrying and complaining sometimes (which is so not right). You see, I can be such a worrywart and I need to change that because worrying doesn’t really solve anything. It’s true that there are so many thing that needs my attention or things that I need to prepare, places to go to, things to start- and it is so tempting to just snap back at everyone and yell- I am stressed outso don’t disturb me.
But a little reminder is all I need to take a deep breath, stop for a while and admire the many good things in my life and yes count my blessings. Everything seems so easy and doable after that.
I want to share a nice quote from the song Sunscreen by Baz Luhrmann.
Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as
effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing
bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that
never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm
on some idle Tuesday.
And a nice song with a wonderful life philosophy: Hakuna Matata- it means no worries for the rest of your days.
After the wedding, my husband and I stayed at my parent’s house. We made that decision because the house that we purchased in Cavite is still being constructed. It is also more convenient because our house is closer to our workplaces. But since the house in Cavite was finished last November, my husband has been urging me to move into our own home. He wants us to be truly independent and really be on our own. Of course I also want that but I wan to take things slowly because you know, there are many things that needs to be fixed in the 2-storey house that we bought before we can really moved in and it entails a big budget.
But my husband’s eagerness is not waning so I gave in and we had started with constructing the house interiors but we are a little worried that our house floor plans may not be okay. Now, my husband is so busy looking in different websites forhouse plansand floor plans that we can imitate into our own home. It’s a good thing that I come across this website- HousePlansandMore.com a site that gives proud homeowners like me and my husband great ideas on how we can create our own dream house. I love the house designs in this website especially the cabin plans. I highly recommend this site to architects, architecture students, or simply a lot owner that are searching for fabulous house ideas.
You know what, when I was nineteen, my heart was broken. I broke up with my very first boyfriend and even though It’s kinda funny (coz the reason for the breakup is really so childish) when I think about it now, I still remember that that was the first time I really experience a heartache. It is something that opened my eyes to the reality of pain and that life is not about fairytales. I was quite young, very naive and yes really stupid so I was torn and don’t know what to do. I was disillusioned and call me mushy but I really had a hard time trying to get over my first bf. I actually thought I would never be able to do so – but hey today my head would not even turn if I hear his name.
A song from Joey Albert, I Remember the Boy but I don’t remember the feeling anymore is so true! Anyway, aside from friend and family’s love, you know what helped me get over that heartache - songs! Yes heart breaking love songs that used to make me cry buckets of tears. I think I cry until I fell asleep and it helped me heal fast. You can cry all you want but you would soon realize that you simply cannot cry forever. So for anyone who might be broken hearted today, remember that no matter how bad you may feel today, it is alright- because it is not possible for you to stay that way forever. Here are the some of the songs that prick straight to my heart then.
